I bumbled across this lovely lady's blog (Maureen Johnson) and she had a hysterical post that I have to share and by all means check out her blog!

HOW TO BE A WRITER IN TEN EASY STEPS
http://maureenjohnson.blogspot.com/2007/02/how-to-be-writer-in-ten-easy-steps.html
Monday, February 26, 2007

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anonymous said...
How do you BECOME a writer anyway? You've already talked about what they do.

Fair enough, anonymous. Enough jibberjabber about the eating habits of J. Green, the cakemaking of E. Lockhart, and the bone-breaking of Cecil Castellucci. (But don’t think this will be the last time I will put you through this.) I like readers who say what they want.

Let’s take a second to clarify the question—I think you’re asking how you become a professional writer, or someone who writes for a living. The broader question of how one becomes a writer is not one I can answer.

The interweb abounds with information about this subject, some of it solid and good, and some of it terrible. I’ve already told you how to write a book and a little about the publishing process. Let’s look at the general state of being a writer—habits, behaviors, tricks and tips.

I have broken this subject down into ten elements that I feel are critical for any professional writer. You can go about these in any order you like.

1. HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN IN FRONT OF SOME BOOKS.



This is an absolutely essential first step. People forget things easily in our information-rich world. You don’t want people asking, “What’s this person about? Is she an oral surgeon? Is she a lion tamer?” The books will tell them that you are a Serious Writer.

2. OBSESSIVELY CHECK YOUR AMAZON RANK.



This is the true mark of a writer. Everyone does it. Those who say that they do not are lying.

3. MAKE FRIENDS WITH SOME MEDICAL PROFESIONALS.



Because you won’t have health insurance. My mom’s a nurse and can write prescriptions. This helps. You should make similar connections.

4. BE WEIRD.



If you’re a writer, everyone at the publishing company (and pretty much the world at large) already assumes that you’re two sandwiches short of a picnic. You might as well enjoy it.

5. BE AS INTENSE AND POMPOUS AS POSSIBLE.



Look, no one is going to take you seriously unless you show them that you are a force to be reckoned with. You are a Writer, dammit! People owe you respect! If anyone says anything bad about you or your book, go after them and tell them that they are wrong! Take everything personally! Go to their houses, steal their hamsters, leave threatening greeting cards on their doorsteps. Wax insane on your blog about your enemies, both real and imaginary.

Oh wait. No. People hate that. Just go back to point number four.

6. GET SOME HOBBIES.



Writing is solitary. It’s good to have a few outside interests that get you away from your desk. That means that internet surfing, blogging, “researching,” and Googling do not count. Step away from the keyboard.

7. BROOD A LOT ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SUCK.



Wait . . . you’re saying YOU wrote the worst book/story/play/paper in the world? Because I thought I had. And you, guy over there. You’re saying YOU wrote the worst one? We can’t all be right.

Get in line, Charlie! Every writer claims this, usually at some bleak midpoint. This is pretty much a requirement. Dwelling on it is a great way to use time that you would otherwise fill with tedious writing.

8. MAKE SOME WRITER FRIENDS.



Writers make excellent friends. They will listen to your long, sad stories about how you suck and have no health insurance—and then match them with their own stories about how they suck and have no health insurance. A conversation like this can go on for hours! Blog about the time you spend with them, until someone sends you a comment and tells you to . . . wait. Nevermind. Just get some writer friends.

9. ALWAYS LOOK LIKE YOU ARE DEEP IN THOUGHT.



Writers are always supposed to be thinking, even when their minds are empty except for the sound of softly chirping birds. Practice your thinking face in your spare time. It helps to touch your chin lightly.

10. KEEP GETTING BACK UP.



You’re going to fall and fail. Keep getting back up. No, I don’t want to hear any excuses as to why you can’t. Just keep getting back up. Also, make sure you make those friends in the medical profession. They can provide useful medications when the getting up is hard.

There you go! I hope this helps. I invite other writers to add to this list, in case I have missed something.

Our Book, "Write All the Way to the Bank" Got 4 stars! Woohoo!

I was noticing a lot of hits to our site from the Clickbank storefront and our book got 4 stars from them and it's up to #7 in the writing books category!
That's great news!
We have had the best feedback from people and I want you to know we really listen to your comments.
Whenever people are good enough to write us, we make a note of their correspondence and when it's time to update our book for the coming year - we take those comments into consideration and as a result the book just gets bigger and better every single year.

SKinney says that the only good news he wants to hear is that the snow is ending.
Anyway check this out!

#7. Effective Web Writing
	Write All The Way To The Bank-Updated For 2008! Access to good information on how to start and run a successful writing business. 4 star rating Clickbank Popularity Rank : #197 Price: $19.95

Gig List Launched Yesterday!

SKinney finally got done setting up our board and now our Gig List is up and running.

We will be posting at least 10 gigs a day for writers. These are not gigs for Keyword Content but rather gigs that we have run across.

No pay per click writing.

No "promised" proceeds or shared revenue gigs.

No writing for free ("exposure") gigs.

Just money paying writing gigs!
How's that for a way to start the week?

It's free and always will be. I don't know about you, but I just hate it when I read a gig description and it's right up my alley and then I click to answer and get a box that reads , "Answer this ad and many more for only $7.95 per month!".

I don't want that to happen to anyone so we're leaving this list free and open in the spirit of keeping information free and easy to access for all people that want to write for a living!

Come on by and share this with your friends - the more the merrier we say :
http://keywordcontent.net/giglist/

Write All the Way to the Bank Updated for 2008

We released our book "Write All the Way to the Bank" last year and we've had a really great response. It's not a book about form or sentence structure, but rather about how to create your own writing business.

Many people have a talent for writing however they don't pursue their dream because they don't know how or where to start and that's where our book comes in. We show you how to find the jobs, how to land the jobs and how to get paid.

We included several places that hire bloggers and web writers on a regular basis and updated the list to remove some companies that are either no longer hiring or have been absorbed into other firms. Get the scoop on writing for the web, creating keyword articles, and avoiding the scams that take advantage of new writers.

If you're ready to make a living writing online - check out our 2008 release of "Write All the Way to the Bank" - many people have written to say they landed a paying job the first week after they read through our book - we think that's great!!!

Keyword Articles Are Still the King of Web Content (Human Written)

I keep getting advertisement after advertisement in my email box for all these "miracle" keyword article writers. In my humble opinion - they all suck.

I've been given several different programs that promise to spin and rewrite articles which they do but they don't seem to make a lot of sense and I just don't think the AI is far enough along to replace good old human input.

I won't mention any product names but one in particular is good for counting keyword density and theme keywords densities and even gives helpful suggestions and shows you where you boo-boo with a misspelling in your piece - however when it's time to rewrite and you tell it to change the keyword article into something that could have been written by a child from a third world country.

I'm not saying don't use private label rights articles unchanged or don't spin your own articles - it's cost effective and works for positioning if you do it right, what I am saying is that in the time it takes to set up the program and tell it what to replace blah, blah, blah. You could have opened that keyword article in Notetab Pro (one of my favorite programs) or even Microsoft Word and used the Control + R function to replace the keyword or keyword phrase with whatever you wanted. It's clean and goes sentence by sentence so you can rewrite as necessary. It's faster and it WORKS and it works very well.

and that's my 2-cents - your thoughts?

The Great Thing About Being a Freelance Keyword Ghost Writer.......

The bar none coolest thing about being a writer is that I have to research what I write about and I learn so many cool things about the most common everyday things.

I was writing for a cell phone blog today and when I was looking up keyword phrases for search volume and blah, blah, blah you know the drill - I kept running across "mosquito ring tone"...which intrigued me. Did people actually want that high-pitched annoying sound on their cell phones?
I was wrong - it's not just a ring tone at all.

Here's a snipped from freemosquitoringtones.org :

What is the Mosquito Ringtone?

The short version, A tone outside the audible range of hearing of most people over 30. This means that you can get phone calls and receive text messages in class or school without teachers hearing it. For more in-depth information on how the mosquito ringtone works, please see the Mosquito RingTone FAQ. For information on how to get the ringtone on to your phone, see our Mosquito Ringtone How To Guide.

+

=

A ring tone teachers & parents can't hear!

So that's it in a nutshell - the tones are available for a free listen on the website - can you hear them?

Freelancers - Dig on this!

I noticed this ad that keeps popping up on the Google Adsense stuff and so I clicked it and had a looksee.
Check this out : http://www.sologig.com


One advertisement that had me grinning was this one, I don't know about you but I get damned outgoing after a glass or two of wine ha ha

In-Home Wine Tasting Consultants- No Experience Required
An outgoing personality is a must, along with the ability to operate independently. Most of our wine tasting events are in the evening and on weekends. They are conducted in homes, businesses and Bed & Breakfast Inns.This is an excellent part-time venture, with the potential of becoming full time.

There are some good freelance gigs there however - check it out!

Want to Know How to Get Those Subscribe Buttons On Your Blog?

Want more readers to your blog? Let people subscribe and put your blog feed in My Yahoo, My MSN, My AOL, blah, blah, blah you get what I'm talking about.
If already know html/xml - no biggie to do.

However if you don't there is an easy solution for you.

Go here http://www.toprankblog.com/tools/rss-buttons/

And then you will need 3 pieces of information.
1- Your Blog Name
2- Your Blog URL
3-Your Blog Feed URL (usually URL + atom.xml )

Choose default setting to start and the cut and paste the code into your template.
You may have to play around a little and keep hitting "Preview" to get the look you want.

But the result will be roughly like this:

R|Mail


Except it will be in a straight line down the page - great for a side column on your blog.

Simple? You bet.

Elance Discontinuing Their Select Membership - But Do You Qualify for a Premier Membership?

Elance is one of the few places I would tell people it's okay to pay for a membership because I have connected with very cool clients through there and we still do business today. I have been with Elance a long time and only got hosed by one person-ever. That's a great ratio in this biz.

When I got up this morning, SKinney was going to go work out (he is way too motivated in the morning) and I said I didn't want to - I wanted to do some work and have a cup or three of coffee. So first thing is first, open ye olde email and see if any fires occurred overnight I need to put out first thing and I got this email from Elance.

Dear keywordcontent, Thank you for using Elance. As of December 4th, the Elance Select program, as you know it today, will be discontinued. While we know the Select program was popular, offering many benefits such as restricted access to Select projects, profile differentiation, and a generous portion of bids, the only criteria to become a Select provider was a higher membership fee. Unfortunately, the Select seal indicated a level of quality that just didn’t have much weight behind it. To address this, we are excited to introduce the Premier Program - a new merit-based program that incorporates quality and participation as a requirement for membership. We encourage you to visit the Premier Program overview page for more information. And, if you haven’t done so already, check out the new memberships available December 4th by clicking here now. We truly appreciate your business. Sincerely, Jon Diller VP, Provider Network & Services www.elance.com

Premier membership requirements are here: http://www.elance.com/p/help/provider/premiermembership.html

They made what I would call a good move. Effective December 4th. Because basically (like their letter said and I wholeheartedly agree) the Select Membership gave a false impression that you got a higher quality writer when the only criteria was that you pay something like $69 a month instead of $20 or so. So they are raising the bar and killing off the Select Program.

However, I mentioned this to a writer friend of mine and he flipped out. He has nothing verifiable other than he's one of the best writers I know. He graduated high school - started writing straight away and never stopped. He's a great copywriter, ghostwriter and keyword article creator but he has no verifiable credentials other than a virtual stream of very happy clients and the fact he lives a very comfortable lifestyle afforded by his skills to attest to what he does and does well.

So Elance may lose some good people too in this change.

Date Rape Toys and Oh Yeah Our Book is On Clickbank

SKinney finally finished meeting the requirements so we could sell our book "Write All the Way to the Bank" by Clickbank and guess what? If you want to promote this book - you can make a cool 65% of the sale!

http://keycon.jmap.clickbank.net is the magic link to follow if you're interested in the affiliate program. If you want to read the information page for the book itself, you can read it here.



AND - did you see the ATA TOY OF THE YEAR FOR 2007 not to mention totally whored out over "AS SEEN ON TV" and their really (unintentionally) funny infomercials - Aquadots - is made with a substance that coverts to a date rape drug when ingested?

I posted the story on our art site - have a look at 3am's wordz and art -We had a little fun with the Aquadots package too..... couldn't resist...

Enjoy!

Independent Contractors Need Love (and Brains) Too....

I had a "People are Dumb" moment recently that I wanted to share with you.

I adore my writers, every single person I get the chance to work with is cool and always teaches me something - I love the fact I get to interact with so many different people from so many backgrounds.

Also, I get a number of e-mails per week from people that would like to jump into the world of keyword article writing. It's not rocket science and for someone that wants to learn discipline so they can finally finish that novel they've been working on for ten years, keyword articles will definitely help build discipline because there are so many and the due dates are usually quick requiring someone to really stay on task.

Anyway, I got an email from a person that wanted to learn to write keyword articles, they had immaculate diction and grammar in their email and sent me a sample article that - as my 2 year old would say, "Had pow" - it was really good.

I had really high hopes for what this person could do writing-wise. So I wrote them back and said, "Welcome aboard!" and gave them the standard Independent Contractor Agreement and other information I give new writers.

They took a few gigs and then nothing. They never turned in one single article for what they took. And I wrote and wrote and got no response so I buckled down and did the writing myself and all was well.

So a few days after deadline I got an email - the writer said that the computer they used had been infected with a virus and they lost all of their information and could they PUH-LEEEEZE have another chance?

'Okay, I'm a glutton for punishment" I thought - "I'll bite".
"Sure" I wrote back - "One more chance".

So, I put out gigs again and they took some and again the deadline went whooshing past.
Duly finished the missing articles myself and wrote the wanna-be writer and said, "Okay what's up?"

Finally three days later I got a response she had been in the ER with a migraine for the previous three days. Either the line was really long or this writer had killer insurance to stay in the ER for three days.

I said I thought it would be a good idea if they pursued gigs elsewhere as I didn't think this arrangement was working out.

So - yesterday I got a letter in the mail that this brain surgeon had filed unemployment on me.
I detest state government anyway and DUH this person was an independent contractor. I sent a copy of their IC agreement back and told whoever the hearing person was to say, "Dee Dah Dee" Carlos Mencia-style for wasting everyone's time like this....

It truly takes all kinds doesn't it?